I am not a natural born housewife. I am terribly awful at organisation and house-wifing is a big challenge for me! Not because I am lazy or don’t care about my household but because I get easily overwhelmed and struggle with getting focused on each task (since there are continuously so many.) My savour has been writing lists, prioritising and organising to the best of my abilities. Since buying our first home I have struggled with becoming settled, trying to make our home a home for us, and an overload of cleaning keeping everything from being chaos in the household.
A lot of women don’t seem too bothered by the state of their homes and seem to keep on top of things really well whereas if I feel like i’m doing a crappy job of it it really plays on my mind. I suppose I like to validate to myself that I am doing a good enough job.
Our life at home involves cuddles and kisses, serving food, jumping on couches and beds and playing ‘Guess Who’. Oh, also showering a toddler who I forgot to put a nappy on who number two’d everywhere, along with finding a 4 year old drawing a lovely piece of artwork on an ivory painted wall.
I can’t say that cooking is or has ever been one of my favourite activities yet it is the activity that I spend a lot of time doing/thinking about. I see it as part of my job when I am looking after my Japanese student’s that I have from time to time and I usually end up feeling pretty guilty if I don’t have a plate of dinner waiting for my man when he gets home from work or already prepared lunch for him in the fridge for the next day. I suppose this probably stems from always seeing my mother provide so well for the family in terms of food. She always had dinner on the table when we got home from school and my dad would never go without a large meaty dinner and cooked english breakfasts. Yet the funny thing is, I hardly ever remember seeing her sit down to eat with us. Now after asking her i know that her dinner time would be eating the leftovers off our plates as she was cleaning up or eating a few bites here and there while cooking. Even more funny enough is that I find myself doing that now that I am in charge of cooking for a family!
My partner sometimes complains that we can never manage to sit down at the table as a family each night because I’m not ready to eat until I’m satisfied that everyone else has eaten and the girls are all over the place so they usually end up eating on a mat on the floor or me feeding them. I know this is a bad habit but I have learnt to stop feeling such guilt that I haven’t established a traditional ‘everyone sitting at the table to eat’ because for me this is much more of a challenge than the actual cooking and cleaning and i usually just end up feeling overwhelmed with the process. So I have kindly told my partner to accept it until the kids are a bit older and things are a bit more easy.
It has taken me such a long time to grasp a cleaning style that suits me. I am not and will never be someone who notices the dust in the corner of the room or on top of the fans. I simply clean the visible things I see and have to write down reminders to deep clean occasionally. I set a dedicated time to focus on the cleaning for a few hours most days. And yes, it does take me a good 2-3 hours with a toddler who hardly naps. I have self-diagnosed myself to have a bit ADD (I tend to self-diagnose quite a lot) so i set myself the task of cleaning a couple of different rooms in the same time period so that when I lose my focus or concentration on one I can move onto the other and keep switching. This tends to get things done a lot quicker for me and I am a pretty good multi-tasker so i can get pretty much everything done it a couple hours. This includes kitchen, bedrooms, toilets, bathrooms, lounge and dining area, and the laundry! But the house is only ever just clean enough, never spick and span. I’m okay with this for now. Maybe when the kids are older it will be sparkly and smell like flowers.
When we first moved into our home (we have been here for nearly a year) we were excited as we have two spare rooms downstairs (our bedrooms and living area are upstairs). We decided we would utilise one of the rooms downstairs as a toy/play room and the girls would share a bedroom upstairs. This did not work. My oldest daughter kind of forgot that downstairs existed and wasn’t happy to play down there without me (fair enough, it’s pretty far away down there.) So the toys and pretty much everything ended upstairs with us and it feels like we are living in more of an apartment rather than a four bedroom house with a big garden.
We hardly use the garden with a trampoline apart from when I am hanging the washing out. Mainly because we are mostly outside at parks and when we get home were all pretty wrecked and just want to chill. We originally wanted to build a big cubby house outside as my partner is a pretty rad carpenter but we decided that we are probably not going to be here for more than a couple years as we have other plans (I will talk about this in another blog.)
So to wrap up this blog, I kind of suck at being a housewife. Sometimes I long for a well organised minimilistic household where everyone has they’re own shoes and bag areas and the kids pack away their toys. But I do manage to feed everyone, clean up what is needed to be put away, and probably choose to play with my kids more than clean.
I do my best! All us mums do the best with our strengths and weaknesses and with whatever is going on at the time. Respect to all mummas xxxx
Ps: My day always starts with coffee and ends with wine.
Write soon! Jade xxx