The questions in my head refuse to go to bed,
The enquiries in my mind hesitate to turn a blind eye,
A battle between contentment and the search for more, a fight between the desire to be in the now and the ever wandering flow of rampant, unapologetic thoughts,
A confusion at the amount of decision and choice given to oneself in a world that is going to make its decisions for you,
A deep trust, yet a continuous stampede of questions of what im trusting in,
A mix if a creative, spiritual being and a habit forming animal instinct,
The desire to sit and take in every available space of the joy and abundance given to me in each moment, yet the strong pull of my ego trying to steal my attention,
The complexity of all life, contained in one physical body which is a mere speck of existence in the vast and inconceivable universe in which I reside.
What. The. Fuck. Even. Is. Life?
One thing that I have truly come to realise on my journey (life journey that is) is that happiness is not created by the amount of money we earn or what people think of us (which I am truly grateful to have learnt at such a young age, this saved me many years of potentially wasting precious time searching for external happiness which would never had been granted to me).
To me, it is just a waste of time to base happiness on ones bank account. I feel saddened by the amount of people wasting their lives on the strive for more money and material things to make them feel whole. I don’t think that a person necessarily feel’s complete once they have realised that searching for those external things are not the answer. Because what we humans are truly good at is not being content, always striving for more, it’s part of how we have evolved. That is why I feel gratitude is the most transformational tool to change ones thinking (therefore life journey.) It gives us the ability to come back to our natural states of of joy, awe, and love. Seriously guys, I believe this shit wholeheartedly. I also believe that in life we have to suffer, we must suffer purely because suffering is a part of the whole uncomprehensable thing we call life.
But I believe more in the strength of love, joy and grace over states of anger, guilt and resentment.
I think we are intelligent and spiritual enough as humans to recognise this innate truth of satisfaction not being attained from the external world. Each and everyone know this intuitively. I believe that behind every successful businessman, celebrity and politician who believes that their success defines them, there is a part that knows that this is not their nature. But we hide behind the ignorance of it all, because in a way, it’s easier to live a mundane and fairly predictable life than living a life of truth and humility. The more people who realise this truth, the less people who will be involved in the conformity of unhealthy mainstream media which feeds young minds the bullshit that creates this psychological disease in the first place.
Just because we know this truth of happiness and contentment being an inside job, does not mean to say we shouldn’t work jobs or obtain good educations because otherwise we would be homeless and we need enough money to sustain our own security and wellbeing so we can have the opportunity to live fulfilled lives. But thinking that money and success defines us is where we make the mistake. We can get so caught up in these loopholes so bloody easily! Sucked in by the media and all the fucking bullshit. Am I allowed to swear on here? Getting sucked in by the lies is okay and normal once in a while, as long as we come back to realise that none of that matters, and what really is of importance in our lives.
Thank you for reading my ramblings,